By his next class, he was battling the same demon- sleep deprivation. His face dropped periodically, then jolted up, as he fought to not doze off in the middle of the lecture. Every nerve in him screamed for rest, eyes aching and burning from the weight of impending slumber he carried in his eyelids. 

Harsh splashed cold water on his face, desperate to keep himself awake for at least an hour more before heading home. The restroom door creaked. He ignored the footsteps, dabbing his damp face with the sleeve of his jacket, peeling it off as the heat and exhaustion of the day pressed down on him.

He looked up, letting out a soft sigh, but froze.

The senior from yesterday stood behind him, a steamy look on his face while he practically eye fucked him.

Harsh's heart skipped, thrill pumping through his veins.

He turned, feigning the panic of virgin. Ninety percent of guys turn into a dog in rut at a virgin target. Virginity is a trophy to be claimed, and he was going to dangle it in front of his prey!

"Uhm... can you please... step aside?" he rasped, voice intentionally cracking to fake anticipation. However, he didn't let their eyes meet.

Not yet.

"Sure," the guy replied, his smile polite but his gaze unblinking, locking with Harsh's when he looked up.

Harsh ignored it as he looked toward the exit, brushing past, letting their arms graze ever so slightly. 

"Hey," the senior drawled after him. 

He bit on a smirk, and composed his mask. Pivoting back, he tilted his head, feigning innocence.

"Yeah?" His tone polite, clueless. He leaned at the sink when the senior did, mirroring his posture to impart mutual interest.

"I think I've seen you before..." The senior smiled,  eyes narrowing playfully. "Have we crossed paths?" His eyes snapped to Harsh's reflection in the mirror.

Harsh smiled faintly, internally frowning. Strange. Why was he watching his reflection?

"No?" He replied coyly when he remembered he was playing a game.

The guy chuckled slowly, nodding, looking back at him. "You're right. I'd remember a face like yours, sugarplum."

He faked a bashful smile, face heating up from embarrassment. Cringe. He wanted to roll eyes, but his priorities demanded otherwise.

The guy stepped closer, smiling.

"Seriously, you don't remember me?" The senior teased, his cologne a sharp masculine edge that made Harsh's brain foggy with dopamine.

He couldn't stop the grin that curled on his lips, the excitement barely containing in. "I still don't."

Thankfully, it came off as playful and teasing which added to his advantage.

"You really don't?" The senior's hand brushed over the back of his palm, sparks igniting.

All of a sudden, he became touch starved, even when he knew this hunt needed more patience. 

The door clicked and someone stepped in. Harsh turned around swiftly. The guy's smirk fell, irritation blossoming on his face.

Good. 

Harsh pranced inwardly, and quickly exited the place. He knew his target was locked. It was just a matter of time he would have what he wanted.

However, the joy quickly faded to tiredness as he walked down the corridor. 

Keeping the act always took more than he gained. The flirtation, the control, the performance... it was all fun until the chase ended. He couldn't understand why he felt the need to bed someone, and why someone seeing him as a means to their mutual disposal made him feel nice. It was a toxic cycle. Him using someone else. Them using him. Yet, he couldn't deny the thrill. 

[This work is only published on Scrollstack and Wattpad by DaisyDayNew.]

Worse, he couldn't stop feeling disgusted afterwards. 

His gaze fell to his wrist, becoming salty at the annoyance. Then again, the great virtuous Rajvanshs would slut shame again, as if already he didn't know how much of a whore he had been since years.

He had learned too early what it meant to be wanted for all the wrong reasons, and the worst part was how it made him relieved. He loved attention. He craved it. The feeling of being wanted. Desired. Chosen. Who wouldn't?

The bull was right. He was an attention seeker!

His eyelids prickled, glancing down at the tracker as he grabbed his bag off the bench in a remote corner of the corridor.

He would have to bypass this thing even. How?And even if he could, this rendezvous would end too.

Then who would he seek for warmth?

***

He was relieved to finally step out of the building, until he spotted the bull pacing before the car, jaw tight.

Great. Just his luck!

His day had been too smooth today. Of course the universe had to balance it out. This guy and that Yuvaan were the reason he couldn't get a breather.

Jay's eyes locked onto him in that exact moment.

He blinked hard, vision fuzzing for a second due to the blinding sunlight. Headache pounded in his temples. "What?" He snapped weakly, approaching.

The bull didn't move, unblinking eyes following him. "Who was the girl you were talking to?"

"Your sister."

"Be serious."

He blinked hard, grumpy. "My project partner," he grunted. He rubbed his eyes, hoping the blur was just fatigue.

"What took you so long in the restroom?"

He fumed, the underlying accusation twisting his stomach. The driver opened the door for them, before they slid into the back seat. His limbs felt heavier than usual.

"Good afternoon, Your— Sir." The driver corrected last second, bowing to Prince Kshitij as he closed the door.

Kshitij clenched his jaw, irked. He was a true blue blood, not a social climber in the world of prestige! He glowered at the man.

Harsh frowned in confusion, looking to and fro between the older prince and the retreating driver. What did the driver even do? Or was the bull venting his anger on just anyone?

He shifted in his seat, hoping to make himself less noticeable. Jay's neck snapped toward him.

Harsh flinched, glaring back wearily.

Kshitij looked away quickly, looking straight ahead while he folded his arms. Rigid, he stayed silent for what felt like ages. "You haven't answered me yet," he spoke at last, without turning his head.

He groaned loudly. "Why are you obsessed with me? I wasn't even in there that long."

Jay scoffed. "Really? Your tracker says otherwise. I'm surprised what took you so long in a lavatory?"

His stomach dropped, but he forced himself not to react. "So what? I was..." Kidnapping? Serial killing? Blackmailing? Drug dealing?

"I was taking a huge dump!" The excuse blurted out before he could stop himself. Suddenly, adrenaline doused over as regret slammed into him.

He froze in horror at what he just spewed, face flushing pink.

Jay's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "Nobody takes a dump at a public toilet."

He gritted his teeth, internally dying with embarrassment. If he wanted to veer the attention off him, he would have to keep up with his lie. "Well, I do."

"No, you don't. Nobody willingly wants to share bacteria."

"I do."

Jay raised a brow, sizing him up. "Since when?" A faint smirk tugged on his lips.

His fists tightened on his knees, teeth grinding together as he closed his eyes, growing more embarrassment by every passing second. "Since I had diarrhea! Happy now?" His cheeks flared crimson, before he looked away, wishing he could vanish into thin air.

His brain screamed immediately. Idiot! Wrong answer! Wrong answer!

His eyes scrunched close in embarrassment, face red like a tomato. He instantly hid his face in the crook of his elbows, folding his arms over the backpack as he sheltered himself. God, he wanted to sleep it off!

"You had diarrhoea?" He could hear Jay's mocking tone.

"Drop it," he wailed, wanting to die.

"So sad... Crybaby has a bad tummy?"

"That's not what I meant!" Harsh snapped with a flushed face, glaring at him.

"Aww," Jay drawled, grinning raucously. "Poor crybaby. Should I tell Prithvi bhai to get you medicine for your—"

"Shut up!"

"—very serious, very tragic diarrhoea prob—"

"I said shut up!" he shouted, and lunged at him. He punched him on his shoulder. However, Jay let out an obnoxious guffaw, unfazed.

His hands balled into fists as he pulled back, wanting to scream. He wanted to smash something.

Preferably Jay's stupid grin!

"I swear," Harsh seethed, "stop laughing, princey! It's not even funny!"

Jay's laughter cooled into a faint chuckle. He shook his head, as if in disbelief. "Having runs? God, your lies are so pathetic, brat."

Harsh glared daggers. "Why do you even care what I was doing?"

Jay's smile dropped, eyes cold, and lips turning into a disgusted grimace. "Because you're a trouble magnet," he spat.

Harsh stiffened.

Jay leaned back, staring at him calculatively like a hawk. "That tracker isn't just for show. Agni bhai will eventually raise questions if you pull these risky stunts. And I, am not interested in getting beheaded all because my stupid racehorse is deciding to... lax."

The reminder made his blood boil. The band was a shackle, burning against his skin. He scowled as his hand clasped around the tracker, as if punishing it.

Jay watched him with an unreadable expression, his eyes flicking down to his wrist. He scoffed, looking back up at his light eyes. "Why are you blaming the poor thing and not your actions?"

What was this guy's problem?

The rage simmered. "Where were you after lunch, princey? Huh, where?" He retorted, in the same tone the older twin was interrogating him.

Jay didn't reply, coldly watching him.

"See?" Harsh smirked, smug. "Two can play this game."

"We can never," Kshitij snapped, eyes flashing. "Because I'm the older brother and you can't ask me stupid questions."

"Why not?" Harsh glared, blazing. "You can interrogate me, violate my privacy, and that is fine! But when I do the same, there is an older brother card? What is this even?" He frowned.

Jay smirked. "You're only whining because you're the youngest. That's not my fault, brat."

"How is that my fault then?" Harsh exclaimed incredulously.

"It is your fault. Why are you the youngest?"

"Huh? You think this works on my opinion?"

Jay smirked. "Maybe? If height can work, so can birth order. Besides, I would never know. I've never been the youngest." He looked out the window. "Now, shut up brat before I knock off your jaw."

His shoulders squared up. Earlier he was calling him unrealistic, and now hear him. "Maybe," he mimicked Jay under his breath, rolling his eyes.

Like, fuck!

"Do you know how stupid you're sounding?" He began, after he was done muttering to himself. 

No reply. Jay was scrolling on his phone, grinning at the screen like he hadn't riled up Harsh just now.

He bit back on a scream, neck snapping to the other side as he glared out the window. His eyes unfocused for a brief second, chest heavy. He shook himself awake. He hated the bull so much! So much that he could feel the resentment coiling around his chest, wanting to strangle him! His fists clenched, as if physically crushing the bull.

He was the most insufferable person on the entirety of this planet earth. How could he survive the two month truce with him?

                   The moment the car rolled to a stop before the palace porch, Harsh yanked the door open and leapt out. He snorted, bitter and mean. 

Jay stepped out leisurely after him, casually striding.

Marching inside lobby, he took the stairs two at a time, dashing to his room. When he finally reached his room and swung the door open, he froze.

Prithvi. The older brother's brows were drawn together in a frown, eyes sharp as they snapped to Harsh. He swiftly approached him.

"Hello?" Harsh asked tentatively, closing the door.

Prithvi cupped his left cheek, the warmth seeping to his skin as his gentle eyes skimmed over his face, concerned. "How bad is it? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?"

A light sensation blossoming in his chest at the attention, before he blinked hard at the bombarding questions. "Huh?"

"You should have contacted me immediately," Prithvi continued, voice rising as he fussed. "And you still attended at college in this condition? Why are you teens so embarrassed about health related stuff? It's just diarrhoea."

His eyes widened in mortification. He jumped back. "Stop!" he yelped. "I don't have diarrhoea! Who told you that?"

The older prince sighed, face creased in exasperation. "There's nothing to be shy about it. It's normal."

"You don't understand!" His face flushed with embarrassment. Was this what Prithvi was thinking about him?

"I really don't have diarrhoea!" He cried, head shaking urgently. "Jay was—"

Rage fuelled him at his ruined masculine reputation. His eyes closed for a brief second, before he stomped to the door and swung it open to face the perpetrator.

Jay stumbled in, balancing himself as he grabbed the doorframe last millisecond. Glaring at the brat, he straightened, however Prithvi bhai was pointedly staring at him from behind Harsh.

"Kshitij."

Kshitij smirked, before rolling his eyes. "It was a fun experience, bhai. You wanted us to bond, remember?"

Harsh glowered, fuming. "How about I spread a rumor that you're only an inch long? That would be a better bonding experience."

"Harsh."

Harsh flinched, turning to Prithvi as he pointed at Jay. "He ruined my reputation before you. I don't have dia—" his mouth clamped shut, realizing he couldn't even utter this mortifying word without embarrassing himself further.

Jay's lips twitched, his shoulders beginning to shake uncontrollably. "Man, his face! Bhai, see it! Look, it's puckered like a small flower," he cooed mockingly, pointing at Harsh's flushed face. He pulled out a phone and smoothly clicked a picture, cackling like a lunatic.

Harsh's face burned crimson, buring with self-consciousness. He felt cornered and ensnared, unable to escape the humiliation. Tears of shame prickled his eyes. Weakly smirking, he looked away, helpless. He didn't want to look ridiculous and pathetic. 

Prithvi looked away from Harsh's small face, glaring pointedly at his idiot of a brother who wasn't taking the hint.

"Kshitij."

Kshitij leaned on the doorframe, chuckling. "Don't look at me like that, bhai!" He said, breathless. "I just informed you because I care about my little brother's digestion. It's not my fault he's a cry—" 

"Kshitij Rajvansh."

Jay's laughter faltered, replaced by a sharp sneer. His shoulders tensed. He scowled at the whore's son when he realized what it was, frustrated at the oversensitivity. Discomfort gnawed at him at his broken face. How was this his fault? He was only teasing him. Disgust took over him. Could the crybaby not even handle that? How more attention seeking he could get!

His fists clenched, glaring back at Prithvi bhai, before he stormed down the hallway.

The second eldest closed the door, sighing. "That idiot..." He frowned. "Harsh?"

Harsh pressed his face against the cool wall, trying to keep the tears at bay. His nose grazed the surface, heart hammering and eyes squeezed shut.

"Harsh? What's wrong?" Prithvi coaxed gently.

He sniffed, wanting to speak, but his throat closed up. There was nothing he despised more than Kshitij Rajvansh. To hell with that truce!

"Baby?" 

His heart skipped, stomach light. A small part of him wanted to talk to the man, hear more of the man's voice. But he couldn't.

He tilted his head further away, tired of himself. If only he could vanish... 

Prithvi would be sick of him soon.

"Baby boy? C'mon," Prithvi hushed, gently urging. "I apologise on behalf of that moron. I'll even delete that pic, alright?"

His ears perked, head inching closer to Prithvi. But, was the older man not tired of him yet? He was about to cry at a playful tease. He was so demanding.

"Baby, please speak up."

He knew he was being difficult, exhausting another person with his childish whining.  Slowly, he mustered courage, and looked back at the another person he had exhausted.

A strange mix of shame and relief tangled inside him when Prithvi's hand ruffled his hair. "Don't that moron get to you."

He hummed weakly and pushed himself off the wall he was slouching on. He treaded back to his bed, dropping the backpack on the floor. 

Prithvi didn't know what had upset the boy so deeply. Mischief was a part of brotherhood. Jay was a prankster at heart. He thrived in them!

He frowned at the exhausted boy, feeling frustrated not at Harsh, but at their circumstances. Blood couldn't erase the gulf of seventeen years between them. Their worlds were miles apart, and he couldn't expect understanding from a boy on the crux of his teenage and his new surroundings. 

It was a painful reminder for Prithvi. That Harsh might or might not become a part of their lives. And if he didn't, which he wouldn't, because that was how different they were, he would leave them instantly. 

Prithvi mentally shook his head, berating himself for his selfish thoughts. The boy owed them nothing. The couldn't be clingy.

Harsh sat down on the bed, staring at everything with numb eyes.

"There is a reason why his own twin doesn't tag along with him." Prithvi faked a smile, trying to fill the gap. He didn't want the boy to feel offended.

Harsh groaned. He knew the other was being polite! Like he were a guest...

"He's insane... absolutely insane..." he muttered, knowing Prithvi was holding back his irritation. Of course he was fed up!

Prithvi shifted, nodding as he smiled. "I'm glad you're fine. You had me worried back then."

He froze.

Someone worried.... For him.

He swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how tight his throat felt. His vision pricked for a second before he angrily blinked it off. Bending over, he began to untie his shoes. He hated himself for feeling such emotions.

"Harsh?"

"Yeah, yeah." He looked up, kicking off his shoes, changing into slippers. But he knew better than to hope. Prithvi was only being polite because he was sick of him.

That's what he always did to people in his life.

"That's how much you've tired her, doll."

He had tired his own mother. Of course he did. He destroyed her whole life. Sometimes he wished he wasn't born, maybe aborted or miscarriaged. Then, nobody would had to deal with him. Not his mother. Not his father. Not his brothers.

Certainly not himself. 

"I know, kay..."  he mumbled to himself. "Shut up now."

Prithvi frowned. "Know what?"

He blinked, caught off guard. Had he begun to speak to himself again? "I-I mean, I get what you were saying now." He nodded, convincing himself more than he wanted to convince the older prince.

Prithvi frowned, brows furrowed deeply. "I wasn't speaking... anything."

He looked away. Fuck. His hand shot to his temple, brain foggy. All he wanted now was to just sprawl on the bed and surrender to oblivion, but he couldn't when he had more lessons to attend.

His head shook, getting up. He made his way to the bathroom. "I..." he replied, weakly, but then forgot what he wanted to say.

"Harsh?" Prithvi said, alarmed.

"Huh?"

A warm hand clasped around his forearm,v eering him back. His chin nudged up, glaring. He was so annoyed at Prithvi. "What?"

"Your eyes," Prithvi began, gaze skimming between his weary, red rimmed eyes.

"I'm fine," he snapped, pulling back swiftly. 

"They say otherwise," The older prince replied sternly.

His shoulders squared up at his angry tone. He huffed, tired. He couldn't care less about anything now. He turned back towards the bathroom. "How does that concern you?" He gruffed, rolling his eyes on his way.

Prithvi walked upto him and tried to seize his hand. Harsh's arm rose to swat him away, before the older prince's warm palm grasped his right hand, pulling him closer. 

"Lack of sleep. Nightmares?"

Harsh froze, his chest clenching painfully at the small detail someone noticed about him. He looked away from the concerned man, his teeth grinding. Why was Prithvi Rajvansh dealing with him?

He didn't deserve it.

"I—!" he stopped, unable to snap. "Yeah," he confessed wearily when Prithvi tugged at him.

"Why didn't you reach out? I asked you last time, didn't I? You can ask for help, Harsh. There's nothing weak about seeking help." 

Harsh sighed, eyes drifting at Prithvi's chest. At his smooth, classy pink T-shirt. His eyes trailed down further, at the fingers holding his hand. His heart twinged with ache.

Was this how family held you?

Or was this another trap he was naively falling into?

He couldn't wrap his head around this situation. 

What was this feeling? The touch was not even sexual. Then was he comforted by only a hand holding his?

Why did he want to submerge in this warm feeling forever?

"Harsh, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" Prithvi shook him gently, as if to awake him from a trance.

Why was the boy so silent? He was weirdly staring at everything like the world was alien. It was terrifying.

"It's nothing." Harsh blinked rapidly at Prithvi's panicked voice, realizing he had spooked the older male by his confusion. "I'm... I can't deal with this. I wanna sleep," he sighed wearily, partially truthful. It all owed to sleep deprivation, thanks to Maharaj Agney Rajvansh. 

Nightmares were least during daytime. He often used to spend whole day sleeping for this very reason.

"Then... what's stopping you?" Prithvi asked, perplexed. "Take a nap."

"Lessons, bhai, lessons! Agney Rajvansh is hell bent on pushing me through fire," he lamented, looking up at Prithvi's eyes. Maybe Prithvi could help him!

"Please, do something, bhai. I can't deal with so many lessons a day. Even my afternoon nap is compromised," he whined.

"I..." Prithvi hesitated. "Why didn't you skip the college then, if you were so sleep deprived?" The man asked, suspicious.

"I don't want to! I like college so much!" He excused. "Please, bhai. Tell him to schedule my lessons to weekends. I love college. There are so many real people I get to interact with. Please, please, bhai. Do something. Please convince him. He will kill me at this rate," he bemoaned.

"Fine," Prithvi hushed. He chuckled, pulling away. "I will try. No promises." His smile dropped out of blue "Bhai has been really tense since yesterday. Maybe tomorrow? I'll try to change his mind before this weekend. Happy now?"

A gentle smile tugged up his lips, dancing on his countenance.

Prithvi smiled back, cheered at his unadulterated radiance. If only the boy could show more of it.

"So, well..." Harsh jutted his thumb back at the bathroom, awkward all of a sudden. "Can I go now?"

"My bad," Prithvi smiled, apologetic as he retreated. "See you at dinner." He spun, and walked away.

As soon as Prithvi left, his smile dropped. He didn't deserve his kindness.